


Captain Kallus, or, The Agent's New Clothes

by KaitanISB021



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Crack, Gen, Hot Kallus?, Humor, Season 4 trailer, Yavin 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 15:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10642920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaitanISB021/pseuds/KaitanISB021
Summary: A little crack one-shot based entirely on those few seconds in the Rebels: Season 4 trailer. You know which ones I mean.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For those on the Hot Kallus team and those ambivalent about the new look. I kid because I love. :) Enjoy!

“Where’s Kallus? We’ve got to start this mission now.” Hera paced, looked back to the hangar at Yavin 4, fist on her hip. “I thought we’d at least get a crew member who appreciated timeliness. What use was all that Imperial training if he’s going to be as late as Zeb and Ezra?”

“Hey! I’m standing right here!” Ezra pouted. 

Sabine rolled her eyes. “I told him he needed to get a new look. He’s been sitting around in that Imperial getup for a week. I mean, I love black as much as the next artist, but seriously.” 

Ezra paced back toward the hangar. “I haven’t seen him in, like, two days. Maybe you hurt his feelings?” 

“He took a kick in the face from Thrawn, Ezra,” Sabine shot back. “I think he can probably take a little constructive criticism on his fashion choices.”

“Wait….is that…. _Kallus_?” Hera dropped her hands from her hips as her mouth dropped open in shock. Her crew spun to look at the rebel walking toward them from the hangar.

“It’s time to get to work.” 

The Ghost crew stood there, immobilized, staring. Kallus was dressed in the tans and browns favored by the crew at Yavin 4. His formerly sleek hair flopped into his eyes and over his ears. His trademark sideburns gave way to shaggy chin and upper lip stubble. His serious, no-nonsense expression began to fade in the face of the Ghost crew’s silence.

Sabine was the first to break the awkwardness. “Nice earth tones, man. That’s a decent look for you. But I would have picked something a little…less…Dad-like.” Kallus’s eyebrows shot up. “Hot dad, though. Totally a hot dad,” she added quickly.

Zeb was still staring. “Uh…mate?”

“Yes?”

Zeb shifted uncomfortably and scratched the back of his head. “You need to borrow a comb or something?”

“What? You don’t like it?” Kallus ran his hand through his hair self-consciously. “But…it’s supposed to symbolize my freedom from Imperial tyranny!”

“Seriously? You look like Ezra did when he was 14.”

Sabine barked a laugh into her hand. Ezra’s pout returned. “Zeb! I’m standing _right here_.” 

Kanan knocked on his mask. “What? What am I missing?”

“Kallus has embraced the rebellion by not combing his hair, apparently,” snorted Zeb. “Or shaving. Seriously, man. Have some self-respect.”

“I’m growing a beard.” He paused, looking around for support. “ _Kanan_ has a beard.”

Hera snorted. “That’s not a _good_ thing.” 

Kanan’s hands flew to his hips. “I’m standing _right here!_ ”

“I’m aware, love.”

Sabine struggled to make her face look serious. “No, it looks good, Kallus. It’s….definitely not Imperial. Um….so, who suggested this look?”

Kallus shifted uncomfortably. “Well, if you must know, your droid suggested it.”

The Ghost crew paused, looked at one another, then burst into laughter.

“Chop? Seriously? You took advice on your new look from _Chop_?” howled Zeb.

“That’s okay, man,” Ezra said between gasps. “He pranks us all the time, too.”

Sabine held her side, struggling for breath between laughs, tears streaming from her eyes. She took a deep breath and straightened. “Ah. That was good. So, did you keep your other outfit, or…?”

Kallus looked dejected. “Well, yes. I gave it to the intelligence officers for Imperial undercover jobs. But the others kept looking at me strangely when I wore it. And I kept getting these….things stuck to it.” He pulled a small wad of something out of his pocket.

“Spitballs,” Ezra nodded.

“Spitballs? What are spitballs?” Kallus said, eyes widening.

“Just what they sound like, mate. Usually people roll up a little flimsi, stick them in their mouths, get ‘em good and sticky, then blow them at someone through a straw.” Zeb chuckled as Kallus dropped it in disgust.

Hera smiled warmly. “Welcome to the Rebellion, Captain Kallus.”

**Author's Note:**

> Again...I kid because I love.  
> [A little comparison of Zero Hour Kallus v Season 4 Trailer Kallus](https://kaitanisb021.tumblr.com/post/159762350800/just-saying)


End file.
